Black and White

Prowl thought his morning was going to be peaceful.  It certainly seemed so at first.  Then the other mechs started to wake up.

His first clue that the day was not going to be peaceful was Sunstreaker poking his head into his office.

"Hey, I'm going to kill Cliffjumper around noon today.  Just a heads-up."  Then he was gone.

Prowl stared at the door for a moment before letting his head fall to his desk.  "Slag it."

Jazz wandered into Prowl's office, head turned to follow Sunstreaker's progress down the hall. "What was that about?" his attention turned back to Prowl, who hadn't lifted his head from the desk. "Prowler?"

"Apparently, he's going to kill Cliffjumper this afternoon." Prowl said, lifting his head from the desk. He shook his head. "I'm wondering if it's worth the effort of going down there and stopping him."

"Ah wouldn', but that's just me." Jazz said easily. He handed Prowl a data pad. "Ah figured ya would want Bee's latest mission report - Ah've already read it and signed it, it just needs yours an' Ah c'n get outta yer hair."

Prowl gave him an odd look. "You're actually doing paperwork?"

"Only th' stuff that interests me."

Prowl took the file.  "Okay, so what went wrong?"

"What makes ya assume somethin' went wrong?" Jazz asked with a grin.  Prowl laughed.

"Okay, rephrase - what blew up?"

Jazz's grin turned wicked.  "I'll let ya find out.  Read it and sign."  He started to walk out, but then Prowl found the section he was talking about.

"Bee did that on his own?"

"Yep."

"Damn.  I'm thoroughly impressed."

Jazz grinned. "Well, he learned from th' best, an' th' best is me." 

"If you say so, Jazzy." Prowl signed the form and handed it back. "Don't forget the staff meeting in an hour, okay? I don't want to have to hunt you down."

Jazz gave him a slightly imploring look. "Do Ah really have ta go? Those things bore meh ta tears."

"Yes, you do. You're one of the commanding officers." Prowl said with a slight grin.

"Tha's it, I'm designating Raj to take my place during these things." Jazz muttered, walking out of the room. "See ya in a bit, then!"

Prowl smiled to himself as he watched Jazz go.  He was pretty sure he was going to have to track Jazz down anyway, but he didn't care.  It would at least keep him out of the meeting for a while.

((Hey, already bonded or just friends at first?  I'm thinking just friends would be more fun.))

((Just friends - I agree, it's more fun))

Jazz grinned as he wandered into the rec room and grabbed a cube of energon. He flopped down in one of the chairs next to Mirage. "Yo."

"Hello, Jazz." Mirage gave him a small grin. "Come to watch the fireworks?"

"Fireworks? What happened?" 

"Evidently, Cliffjumper decided that painting Sunstreaker bright orange would teach Sideswipe a lesson. I don't know why, though." Mirage said, jerking his head to where Sunstreaker was welding the minibot to the wall. "Either way, it's funny."

Jazz just stared at Cliffjumper.  "Ya know, sometimes Ah think Jumper has a thing for Sunny, and all these stunts are just a way to get Sunny to pay attention ta him." he said finally.

Mirage, who had been taking a drink of energon, actually spit it out at that thought.  "Oh, Primus." he coughed.  "Say that to them.  I dare you.  Maybe them Jumper will leave him alone."

"Or Sunny will kill him."

"One of the two.  I don't care."

((awesome))

Jazz gave Mirage a grin. "What's in it fer meh?"

"Two cubes of the Twin's highgrade." Mirage said with a grin back.

"Done." Jazz leaned back in his chair and caught Cliffjumper's attention. "Oi, 'Jumper! D'ya mess with Sunny so much 'cause ya got a thing for 'im? Ah don' blame ya, he's a good lookin' mech, but he's a bit outta yer league, ain't he?"

Cliffjumper's optics grew wide as Sunstreaker spun around to pin him with a glare.

Jazz smirked and turned to Mirage. "Pay up."

Prowl walked into the rec room just in time to see Mirage hand over the high grade.  "A bet?"

"I lost." Mirage said.  He scooted over so Prowl could have room to sit down.  Jazz slid him one of the cubes.  Prowl looked up at him.

"I suppose for later?"

Jazz grinned.  "See?  Don't even hafta spell it out for ya anymore."

"Um, I don't know if you guys noticed, but Sunny's gonna KILL ME!" Jumper yelled.

Prowl gave him a mild look. "He was already planning on doing so. It just appears that his timetable got stepped up." he gave Jazz a dry stare. "Which makes me wonder what kind of hand you had in it."

Jazz gave him an innocent grin. "Jus' a thought that occured to meh."

Mirage snorted. "Yes, a truly horrifying one, at that. He wondered if Jumper has a thing for Sunstreaker, given how much he picks on him."

Prowl froze. Jazz's optics went wide and he snapped his fingers in front of Prowl's face. "Hey! Don' lock up on meh - Ah jus' got th' dents outta mah head from last time ya locked up."

"I'm not locking up." Prowl said, voice strained. 

"Good." Jazz sat back down, eyeing Prowl warily. "Ya sure?"

"Mostly."

Mirage laughs.  "See, Jazz?  I told you it was horrifying!  Even Prowl thought so!"

"I'm still trying to wrap my processor around that one, but I can see where Jazz came to that conclusion." Prowl said.

Jazz shook his helm.  "Well, stop while yer ahead, Prowler.  I am not explainin' that to Ratch."

"Hello!  About to die here!" Jumper was starting to get frantic.  Mirage groaned.

"Shut up and take it like a mech!" he called out.  "You deserve it, you fragger."

That made Bee and Trailbreaker start laughing.  They joined the group at their table.  "Why is no one saving Jumper?" Bee asked.

"I'm off-duty." Prowl and Jazz said at the same time.

Mirage shot them a grin. "And I'm not getting between an angry Sunstreaker and his target. I like life, and I don't care enough about Jumper to save him. He still thinks I'm a Decepticon, remember?"

Bee nodded. "Yeah, I remember. I'm too small to do any damage to Sunny on my best day. So even if I wanted to, I couldn't stop him."

Jazz laughed. "Looks like Jumper's outta luck th' whole way around." he commented. He suddenly shot a grin at Mirage, Bee, and Prowl. "If'n it was meh, would ya save meh?"

Mirage and Bee snorted as one. Bee gave him a grin. "Jazz - the day Sunstreaker pins you to a wall long enough to weld you to it is the day you retire. I know better than that."

"Fair point."

Trailbreaker grinned.  "I suppose I could save him, but I can't be bothered."  He took a sip of his energon.  Prowl just shook his head with a small smile.

Then Optimus walked in.  "Sunstreaker - why are you about to kill Jumper?"

"Do you really wanna know, Prime?"

"On second thought - no.  I don't."  And he went to get his energon.

"PRIME!  Save me!" Jumper screamed.

"Wait until I leave, Sunstreaker." Prime said.

"Yes sir."

"What the HELL is wrong with you mechs?!" Jumper yelled. 

Sideswipe rolled his optics as he walked into the room. "Cool your engines, Jumper, he's not actually going to kill you. Maim you, yes. Kill you, no. Ratchet would murder him, and he values his paintjob too much." he said, grabbing a cube of energon and sitting next to Prowl. "Though if you keep screaming, he'll rip your vocal processor out."

Bee laughed. "Rough night, Sides?"

"You have no idea. You try going on an all night patrol with Ironhide. See how you like it." Sides said, draining half the cube in one go. 

Bee laughed. "Nope! I'll just take your word for it."

Prowl winced.  "Sorry about that, Sides.  You were the only mech available."

Sides waved his hand dismissively.  "Just please don't make it a habit." he pleaded.  Prowl laughed.

"Deal."

Jazz leaned back in his seat with a grin.  "So - anythin' interestin' ta report, Sides?"

"Only that Ironhide is a sadist."

"We already knew that, mech." Jazz pointed out.  "What're the 'Cons up to?"

Sideswipe laughed. "That's part of my problem. They're not doing anything. Or, at least, nothing we can see outside."

Jazz leaned back in his chair and grinned. "Yeah, well, that's what ya got us fer." he said, jerking his thumb at Bee and Mirage.

Sideswipe laughed and nudged Jazz playfully. "Then go do your frellin' job!"

"Ah'm workin' on it! These things take plannin', ya know!" 

"Then plan faster!" 

"Ah ain't a tactician!" 

"There' one sitting right across from you!"

Bee grinned and nudged Prowl. "They're so cute, aren't they?" he mock-whispered.

Prowl almost choked on his laughter.  Prime directed the conversation back towards serious things.  "Unfortunately, we really do need to know what's going on in there.  Prowl, where are you in planning?"

"Trying to figure out a plan that doesn't involve using me for backup." Prowl said dryly.  "However, considering the area and how close it is to other Decepticon strongholds, the safest thing to do would be to have me on scene so I can plan in real-time.  There's always the chance of something going wrong."

"Oh ye of little faith." Bee teased.

"I have plenty of faith - in the Decepticon's ability to cause trouble." Prowl retorted gamely.

"Oh, gee, thanks!" Jazz laughed. "We c'n handle anythin' they throw at us."

Mirage laughed. "And sometimes that's literal, too." he commented, grinning outright when Prowl facepalmed. 

Prowl shook his head. "How about a mission where that doesn't happen?" he asked with a faint grin. 

"Then that mission's goin' too well, an' there's a trap waitin'." Jazz said easily. "Those missions ain't supposed ta go that well - it's almost a law by now."

(Crappy post is crappy!)

"Allow me my delusions, please." Prowl pleaded.

Prime shook his head.  "I agree with Prowl.  He should go with you on your next mission, Jazz, for real-time planning.  Prowl, make sure you pick someone to watch your back."

"Mirage." Prowl and Jazz said instantly.

Mirage laughed.  "I'm so glad you think highly of me."

Jazz laughed. "Hey, th' last time Prowler followed us out onto th' field, he got his doorwings ripped off 'casue Ravage snuck up on 'im. We don' want that."

Mirage nodded, a slight smile crossing his face. "Yes, I can understand why. So when are we going on this mission?"

Prowl glanced at Prime and Jazz. "After the staff meeting. We're going to hammer out the finer details, and let the rest of the command staff know what's going on."

Prime nodded. "We want Ratchet at the very least to be somewhat prepared if any of you need medical attention once this is over. The last time something like this happened, he about killed all of us once Prowl was stable." he said with a slight laugh. "It was not a fun time for any of us."

Jazz laughed and rubbed the back of his head. "Ratch actually hit me so hard he had to fix me right afterwards. He didn' numb it up or nothin' either."

"In my defense, Ravage was not in our intel." Prowl said.  Jazz patted him on the shoulder.

"If it's any consolation, Prowler, Ah think none of us cared afterwards." he said over their private comm link.  Prowl smiled faintly.  Optimus shook his head.

"Regardless, get working, you two." he said, standing up.  "I need to get going.  Red Alert wants to run more security upgrades by me."

"If he makes it too hard for the enemy to get in, we won't be able to get out." Mirage said absently.

"Tell him that." Prime muttered.  He turned to Sunstreaker.  "Let the killing commence."

"Thanks, Prime!"

"OPTIMUS!"

Bee sighed and stood up, finishing his cube of energon before shooting Jazz and Prowl a wry grin. "Well, I'd better go save my roommate. Thankfully, Sunny likes me, so maybe I can convince him to let Jumper go."

Sides snorted. "Don't hold your breath on that one, Bee. Sunny likes you well enough, but Jumper's earned his punishment. You should have seen the number Jumper did on Sunny. It made my optics bleed just looking at it."

Jazz rose an eyebrow. "What'd he do ta Sunny?"

"You see the color orange our walls are, right? Kind of a muddy clay color? Yeah, take that color, and add a lot of neon to it. Then maybe you'll get close to the color Sunny was painted." Sides said, twisting to watch his twin tear Jumper limb from limb. 

Prowl closed his optics and shook his head. "I'm not going to imagine it. I'd like to get through the day without a processor ache."

Jazz and Bee laughed.  Prowl smiled and finished off his energon.  "I have to get back to my office.  Jazz, Mirage, will you join me when you get the chance?"

Mirage nodded.  Jazz saluted him.  "Will do, boss!"

Prowl just groaned and left for his office.  There was planning to do, and he was going to make slag sure it was a good plan.  After all, he liked Jazz and wanted to keep him around for a while.

Jazz stretched and stood. "Well mechs, I'll see ya 'round. 'Raj, meet me in  Prowler's office in say, an hour."

Mirage nodded. "Of course. And may I ask where you're going?"

Jazz jerked his thumb down the hall. "I gotta go an' get a checkup with Ratch. He's fragged at me 'cause I skipped out on mah last one. In mah defense, I wasn' here, I was deep cover, but that don' mean nothin' with Ratchet." he said with a laugh. "So, I gotta go an' make sure he don' turn me into a toaster or somethin' along those lines."

Mirage laughed. "Yes, that would be problematic. Go on, then. I'll see you in a bit."

"Ya got it." Jazz jogged down the hall, slowing as he reached the medbay. He poked his head in the door. "Anyone home?"

First Aid turned. "Oh, Jazz. Good. Ratchet'll be out in a few, he's just signing a few reports."

"Ain't no rush. Seriously - he c'n take 'is time." Jazz muttered, settling on one of the medical berths.

Prowl starts to open his door, then pauses.  He looks up, then takes a step back and pushes the door open the rest of the way.  A bucket of neon pink paint falls from the roof and splashes across the floor.  Prowl laughs.

"Weak, Sides."  He starts to step around the mess, then thinks better of it.  Instead, he comms Beachcomber.  "I need a hand.  Looks like the Twins pranked my office again."

"Sure Prowl."

Prowl stands back and waits.  He's pretty sure there's more than one trap in his office, and who better to use as a decoy than the minibot that fragged up his last mission?  He opens a comm link with Jazz.  "I think Beachcomber is about to go to med bay.  Looks like the Twins are finally getting him back for fragging up that last mission."