Black and White

Lightrain nods. "Okay, okay. How about we move on the second part of our eval, shall we?"

Jazz doesn't say anything, and Lightrain continues. "Have you felt the urge to take over the world? Any megalomania we need to address?"

Jazz snorts, and shakes his head. "Naw, mech. Ain' mah speed. Have ya actually thought about how much work would go inta runnin' th' world? Not worth it."

"Is that right? Isn't there a fair amount of work being Head of Special Ops and TIC?"

"Well, yeah, but I procrastinate on that, too. 'S a lot of paperwork, an' paperwork is borin'."

"And if you had someone to take care of the day to day stuff, would you consider world domination?"

"If ya wanna get technical, Ah already do, but like Ah said, 's too much work." Jazz laughs. "Also, try an' phrase these questions differently when ya question Raj an' Prowler. Ya leave an' openin' like that, they'll jus' take advantage."

Lightrain blinks. "Mirage and Prowl. I have heard things about them."

"Prolly from Vesper."

"Actually, yes."

"Mostly lies." Jazz says dismissively. "Vesper's gullible an' they take advantage."

Lightrain snorts. "Yes, well, that's what you get for leaving an opening for the masters of tac and stealth. I've heard stories about some of your ops."

Jazz grins. "What kinda stories?"

"The minefield incident?"

"Now that's totally true."

Lightrain blinks. "Is it really?"

"Yup. Lemme show ya th' footage sometime." Jazz grins. "It shouldn' have worked. But it did. An' Ah gotta say, runnin' through that field was prolly one of th' most terrifyin' times o' mah life. Ah'd do it again in a spark-beat, don' get meh wrong, but at th' time? Ya better believe we were runnin' pretty light-footedly."

That actually makes Lightrain burst out laughing, which makes Jazz grin wider. "Remind me to take you up on that offer of the footage."

"Mech, we'll turn it inta movie night, assumin' ya survive Prowler an' Raj. Ya make it through them, an' ya might end up stuck wit us. No other shrink's been able ta get past Raj yet."

"Prowl hasn't been evaluated?"

Jazz tilts his helm. "Nope. No one told meh he was supposed ta be, so he never went with us ta be evaluated. Ah mean, he's been evaluated by th' general shrink we've got around here, everyone has, but not exclusively for ops, no."

Lightrain grins. "Well, he's not getting out of it this time."

"Honestly, Doc? Ah don' think he wants ta. Ah think he's lookin' forward ta messin' with ya little. He gets jealous when he hears how Raj wound th' last one up." Jazz laughs. "So, be on yer toes. Yer gonna have a long day."

Lightrain grins. "Oh, so a challenge, then. That's okay, I'm rather looking forward to that. I think I'll save him for last. What order would you recommend I do this in?"

Jazz grins. "Go ahead an' get Blaster and Hound out of th' way. They're gonna be th' easiest to do. Mirage next, then Prowler."

"Why do you call him Prowler?"

Jazz blinks. "Ah - well, kinda started out as a joke. Ah know some tac officers got touchy computers, an' ya c'n make 'em lock up. So Ah started callin' him Prowler, cuz it makes no sense."

"How well did that work for you?"

Jazz snorts. "He started callin' meh Jazzy."

((Hey! Interwebs is back!))

"Do you have nicknames for all the mechs on your team?" Lightrain asks.

"Some of 'em. Prowler, Raj, an' Bee. The rest ain' shortened so easily." Jazz says with a faint grin. "Ya try comin' up with somethin' for Deadshot, Hound, an' Blaster. Maybe you'll have more luck than Ah will."

"Deadshot? He's on your team?" Lightrain sounds a little horrified, and that makes Jazz laugh outright.

"Yeah, he defected not too long before we found out about Sentinel. Ah like his style, an' he fits right in with mah team. It was obvious that Ah'd take 'im." Jazz grins. "He's mostly harmless, Lightrain. Cross mah spark."

"Deadshot and 'mostly harmless' do not belong in the same sentence." Lightrain comments dryly. "Oh well. I'll go with him next. Can you send him to me?"

Jazz blinks. "We're already done?"

"With this part, yes. I'm going to stick around for a week, watch how the team interacts. The questioning bit is really just a small amount of my evaluations." Lightrain shrugs. "I just find it easier to get my answers if I just watch and don't ask."

Jazz grins. "Mech, now ya know why Ah'm ops." he says. "Ah'll go git Deadshot. Don' worry too much about him."

When he enters the rec room, Prowl immediately meets his gaze. "Everything go okay?" he asks.

Jazz sits down beside him. "Yeppers. Deadshot, yer up."

"Oh, hell." Deadshot groans and stands to his feet.

Jazz settles into his seat with a sigh, and gives Prowl and Mirage a grin. "Relax, ya'll. Ah'm fine - it was mostly painless."

"Mostly?" Mirage asks.

"We talked some about Sentinel, an' how Ah'm dealin' with it." Jazz pauses. "He's prolly gonna ask yer opinions about th' whole thing - if he does, try an' keep yer cool. Ah don' know how he's gonna phrase th' question."

Prowl nods, but Mirage's optics narrow. Jazz's gaze narrows right back. "It's his job, mech. Ya can't hold that against 'im."

"If he even implies - "

"He knows Ah'm fit fer command, Raj." Jazz cuts him off. "If he didn', he wouldn' have sent for Deadshot, he'd be walkin' meh ta Prime."

Mirage sighs. "Fine."

"Thank ya. At least give th' mech a chance." Jazz smiles slightly. "Ah git th' feelin' that if he survives ya an' Prowler, he might jus' stay."

Prowl pauses, then starts laughing. "You want to recruit him!"

"Thinkin' about it." Jazz admits.

Prowl smiles. "Let's make sure he can survive Deadshot first. We all know that mech is not sane."

"Kinda can't be and work with us." Mirage muses. "My guess is Bee and Hound are gonna be next, then me, and then Prowl."

"Why am I last!" Prowl protests. "I'm not THAT bad!"

"But ya kinda are." Jazz says with a laugh. "Ya've never taken th' exam, so he has no baseline ta operate with. Yer a wildcard."

There's a moment while Prowl considers that. "But a fun wildcard."

Deadshot arrives back in time to see the group explode into laughter. "Damn it, I miss all the fun - Bee, you're up."

"Awesome." He pats Hound on the shoulder as he stands up. "You're after me, dude."

"The fun never ends." Bee gets to his feet, and Hound claps him on the shoulder with a grin.

"We'll try not to party without you."

"Thanks." With that, Bee heads out, nodding to Gunner as he re-enters the room. Gunner takes the seat that Bee just vacated, and settles in with a sigh.

"How are the evals going?"

Jazz shrugs. "Well, he beat me with rubber hoses, an' Ah'm sure he attacked Deadshot with a feather."

"Ha, ha. Seriously, how is he?" Gunner asks, kicking Jazz under the table and making him yelp.

"He was fine, Gunner, seriously." Jazz says with a grin. "Don' give Raj another reason not ta trust th' mech."

"Another reason? Why is he untrusting this early?"

"Cause th' mech's gonna be askin' if Ah'm still fit ta command." Jazz says arily. "Which is ya know, a valid question considerin' the circumstances."

Deadshot grins. "Yeah, he asked me that. I told him that honestly, it wouldn't matter to me if you weren't. I'm gonna follow you either way."

Jazz grins. "Aw, ya know how ta make a mech feel loved!"

Prowl just grins. "Well, to be fair, Deadshot has a point. I mean, yeah, we'd tell you you're not fit, and we'd do what we could while you got your head on straight again, but we'd still follow you. That's just what we do."

Mirage raises his hand. "Same."

Gunner rolls his eyes. "He's going to deem all of you insane."

Prowl and Mirage exchange looks and a shrug.

"Ya kinda gotta be ta work in ops." Jazz points out. "It ain' like what we do is normal, Gunner."

"True, true." Gunner agrees. He nods to Bee as he walks back to the table. "How'd it go?"

"It could have been worse." Bee says with a grin. "I kinda like this one, so Raj, don't break him. Hound, you're up."

"Here we go." Hound says as he stands up. "You might wanna get ready, Raj. You're after me, I think."

"I'll be as nice to him as he is to me." Mirage says primly, prompting everyone at the table to laugh. Hound grins and kisses the top of his helm.

"That's what you said last time, and you broke the poor mech."

"Not my fault he couldn't take it. Get going!" Mirage shooes Hound away and shakes his head. "He's such a worrier."

"Ya kinda give 'im a reason ta be." Jazz points out.

"Hello pot, my name is kettle." Mirage shoots back.

Prowl just rolls his optics and looks over at Gunner. "It's like herding chickens." he says dryly. Gunner laughs.

"Yeah, but they're your chickens now." he teases. "Primus knows I don't want them back."

"Oi!" Jazz protests. "Ya love us an' ya know it!"

"The greatest love of my life and the biggest pain in my ass, all in one."

Prowl laughs while Mirage and Jazz protest. Deadshot just watches the whole thing with a grin.

Hound comes back and nudges Mirage. "You're up. Be nice to the mech, he's actually a good one. I'd like to keep him around."

Mirage only hums, and wanders off, the picture of nonchalance. Both Gunner and Jazz snort, and he flips them off behind his back before disappearing down the hall.

Jazz shakes his head, downing half his energon. "That poor mech ain' got a clue what's about to hit 'im. Ah did try an' warn 'im, though."

Prowl tilts his head at Hound. "You really do like him?"

"Yeah. I mean, I like him as much as anyone can like a shrink. He did ask if I thought you were fit for command, though. I had to tell him, it didn't matter much whether I thought you were, because if Prowl and Mirage thought you were still fit to lead, then you were. They know better than me." Hound shrugged, and took a sip of energon. "I have no problems calling you out, but they're the ones that are actually paid to do it." He grinned. "Not my department. "

"Ya'll are so bad for mah ego, ya ain' got no idea." Jazz grins back. "Ah'm seriously feelin' th' love here."

Deadshot snorts and leans back in his seat. "Who'd have thought that you guys were a bunch of saps?"

"Technically, that includes you, you know." Bee says cheerfully as he sits down, a fresh cube of energon in his hand. "Didn't you say something similar?"

"Yeah, you got me there."

Mirage comes back with a pleased smile on his face. "Huh. That wasn't so bad after all." He nudges Prowl. "You're up. Do me a favor - try to break him. I couldn't."

"Don' encourage him!" Jazz protests over the howling laughter of the rest of the group.

Prowl grins. "Oh really? You couldn't manage it?"

"Nope. He just gave me this look. So it's up to you to try it."

Prowl laughs and stands up. "I'll be back. This should be entertaining." He kisses Jazz on the top of the helm and walks off.

It's not hard to find Lightrain's office. The psych mech looks up and smiles. "Prowl. I've been looking forward to meeting you."

Prowl grins. "Likewise."

Jazz kicks Mirage under the table, making the other mech yelp. "Was that really necessary?" he demands, trying not to grin.

"Yes. I swear, that mech is unflappable, and I really did try my hardest." Mirage grins unrepentantly. "I have a reputation, after all."

"Yeah, for bein' a colossal pain in mah aft." Jazz mutters into his energon, setting the table off again. "Ah have no idea how Hound puts up with it."

Hound grins and hooks an arm around Mirage's shoulders, kissing his temple. "He's got his perks." Hound says cheerfully.

Lightrain motions for Prowl to sit down. "Let's get the worst question out of the way - how do you feel about the whole situation with Sentinel Prime?"

Prowl considers that carefully. "I think we all need a good kick in the ass for not seeing the signs."

"All?"

"Yes. All." His optics narrow. "I'm not SIC for my good looks. I know the mechs under my command, and most of the other command staff I have to deal with. Sentinel was one of the ones we dealt with on a regular basis. And I never realized he turned traitor."

Lightrain gives him a bland look. "That's a fancy way of saying it's not Jazz's fault." Prowl's fist clenches, but his demeanor stays calm. Figures that Lightrain would pick up on that. "How do you really feel about it?"

"I wish I could shoot him in the head." Prowl says flatly.

Lightrain snorts. "Yeah, that's pretty much the general consensus of the team. Including Deadshot. You think Jazz is compromised?"

Prowl snorts. "Please. Pissed, yes. Confused, most definitely. Hurt , not that he'd ever admit to. But not compromised."

Hound cranes his neck back to see if he can see down the hall to Lightrain's office. "How do you suppose it's going in there?"

"Well, Lightrain ain' come runnin' outta there yet, so Ah'm gonna assume that he's handlin' Prowler all right." Jazz says with a grin. "Or it jus' could be that he ain't asked th' right question yet."

"He phrased his question about megalomania with me differently than Vesper did." Mirage sounds almost sulky. "He made it very hard to convince him I'm batshit crazy." He glares at everyone as they snort into their energon. "What?"

"You're genuinely upset you didn't get to pretend to be Jazz-levels of crazy, aren't you?" Deadshot demands with a laugh.

"A little! I have a reputation to maintain, and it's really hard to do that when he asks if I had any recent plans to dominate the world, and if I'd let Jazz know ahead of time so he can prepare his excuses for me." Mirage throws his hands in the air. "Very difficult to be properly intimidating."

Jazz dissolves into laughter. "He done took th' wind outta yer sails before ya even got 'em up. Ah like 'im!"

Lightrain gives Prowl a hard look. If he's expecting to make the Praxian nervous, he doesn't manage it. Prowl just stares right back. Finally, Lightrain grins.

"Pretty sure I'm supposed to be doing the analyzing here, not you."

That surprises a laugh out of Prowl. "I'm tac, I analyze everything." He grins back. "So you going to ask me the typical ops questions?"

"I already know you plan takeovers in your spare time."

"There is no way you know that."

"Tell me with a straight face that you never get bored. Try it."

Prowl busts out laughing at that. "No wonder Raj couldn't shake you. I don't think I could shake you."

"I'll be here for a while, so you might get a chance." Lightrain stands up, Prowl following suit. "I want to observe the team. Any way I can do that without interfering with normal operations?"

"No, but we'll just drag uoi with us."

"Yay. Let's go let the team know I'm done with this part."

As Prowl and Lightrain walk back to the table, a roar of laughter comes from it, as well as the sounds of Deadshot protesting loudly.

Prowl grins as he sits down, pulling an extra chair over for Lightrain. "What did I miss?"

"Gunner wants to spar Deadshot. We think it's a great idea, but for some reason, Deadshot doesn't want to." Bee says with a grin. "So, as a result, Jazz called him a wuss, among other things, Deadshot kicked him, and Jazz kicked him back, but harder."

Across the table, Deadshot examines his shin and glares at Jazz, who's glaring right back. "Was that necessary?" he demands, rubbing the abused metal.

"Yes!" Jazz is rubbing his shin in very much the same manner. "Ya kicked me first!"

Prowl laughs, and pats Jazz's shoulder consolingly. "There, there."

"Yeah, yeah. Welcome back, Prowler." Jazz grins at him. "How'd it go?"

"I think he's crazier than us." Prowl says bluntly

Lightrain rolls his optics and takes a seat at their table. "That really wouldn't be the worst I've been called. I put in for ops when I first joined the Autobots."

Prowl frowns. "I thought you were tac."

"Yeah, that's where they decided to put me. Kept me out of ops altogether, but since I can read most mechs no problem, they cross trained me into psych. And here I am." He grins at the group. "Ready to hear about the next half of the evals?"

Jazz nods. "Go ahead, mah mech. We're listenin'."

"Well, the next part is simple. I'll be shadowing you - just observing and taking notes. This'll go on for about four days." Lightrain begins, but stops when Jazz holds a hand up. "Yes?"

"By shadowin', ya mean followin' behind us an' stuff? 'Cause I gotta warn ya - if ya sneak up on some of us, that might end badly for ya. We're jumpy mechs."

"I'll let you know where I am at all times. I've worked with ops mechs before - I know how twitchy some of you are." Lightrain smiles. "I know better than to get right behind you guys. I'm not in a hurry to have a dagger buried in my head."

"Just checkin'." Jazz says easily. "Vesper was dumb enough ta get behind 'Raj once. Almost got his optics carved out fer his trouble."

Mirage smiles. "Ah, that was a good day."

Prowl points at him. "See, that right there? That's why you keep getting evaluated. That's not helping the image here."

"Am I supposed to be?"

"No, but I thought I'd point it out."

"We've been pointin' that out fer years." Jazz says dryly. "Good luck wit that."

Deadshot calmly raises his hand. "Am I the only sane mech on this team?" he asks.

"That depends on how loose your definition of the word 'sane' is." Lightrain replies easily.

Jazz sits back and sips his energon with a wide grin. "Ah like 'im. Lightrain, yer gonna be a member of our team yet."

Lightrain laughs. "I appreciate the compliment, but I can't actually be tied down to any one team in case I become compromised."

Jazz's grin turns a little sharp. "Shows what ya know."

"Put the grin away, Jazz." Lightrain says mildly. "You know better than that."

Prowl laughs. "That grin is a weapon - he knows what he's doing with it."

"Shut yer face, Prowler." Jazz says cheerfully.

"That grin is how we got Prowl." Gunner says mildly.

"No - Ah was a bully. That's how we got Prowl."

Lightrain raises an optic ridge. "Do tell."

Prowl rolls his optics. "I wasn't supposed to be ops tac. I was originally one of Prime's large-scale combat tac. Then one day I was helping out with Magnus' team and overheard Firestar going to pieces. Turns out he was working for Jazz's team, the mission had gone to hell in a handbasket, and he couldn't keep up."

"So Prowl here just walks right on in and takes over." Gunner says with a grin. "Damndest thing I'd ever seen."

Mirage raises a hand. "We appreciated it."

"An' it was hot." Jazz comments.

That earns him another kick to shin from Gunner. "Primus dammit! Quit kickin' meh!"

"Quit deserving it."

Jazz rubs his hand over his increasingly dented shins, and glares at Gunner. "Kick meh again, an' I'll strip th' platin' off ya."

"Is that a promise, or a theat?" Gunner asks, propping his chin on his hand and grinning coyly at Jazz, who scoffs.

"Ah'd say promise, but I don' wanna take Prime's fun away from 'im. Ah think he'd enjoy puttin' ya in yer place." Jazz says with a wicked grin.

Prowl groans outright as Prime wanders over. "What did I miss?"

"Nothing I wanted to hear." Prowl mutters into his energon. "I just want to put this on record - I want to kick you too, Jazz."

"Ya'll leave mah shins alone! They're already plenty abused - find someone else ta pick on. Ratchet's gonna have mah skidplates."

Prowl laughs. "I'm not gonna kick you! You'll kick me back, and then I'll have to visit Ratchet."